In Defence of Death

Having recently been confronted with  the death of one of my teenage heroes (Rik Mayall) from a significant cardiac event and today's sad news regarding the apparent suicide of Robin Williams, I have found myself thinking about my own mortality - again.  I suspect I view death a little differently from a lot of people.  It's hard not to have unusual perspectives about this subject when you've slapped Death round the face more times than you care to remember, but I have to say I am not actually afraid of slipping off my mortal coil.  In fact, I rather embrace the prospect as a natural part of life - albeit the end bit. 

 

But there it is - a euphemism for dying.  We speak of people passing on, passing over, falling asleep, buying a one-way ticket, gaining their angel wings, cashing in chips, being called to (insert deity) and awakening to eternal life - I could go on.  People don't like using the D-word; it seems so final.  But is it?  I once read that you've not truly 'gone' until the last man alive, who remembers you, is also gone.  That may be fairly comforting for Richard the Lionheart and Saladin, because I'm still thinking about them 800 years later after they pushed up the daisies. However, for the rest of us that don't make it into the history books, what are our prospects for eternity through remembrance? 

 

I think social media, such as FB, Twitter and instruments like this blog are going to give the average person a small chance of immortality - until the internet falls over because of all the idiotic junk.  It does make me smile a little at the thought of some poor, unsuspecting individual being sucked into my particular style of waffle, two hundred years after I kick the bucket - ooh look, there's another one; you really are getting your money's worth today!

 

But what about actual immortality?  Well, if it exists, I'm definitely coming back to scare the heebie-jeebies out of a few individuals who probably should remain unnamed and I may swing by your pad to say hello if I like you well enough, but I am pretty certain that most of you won't want a fading version of me loitering in the corner, whilst you're trying to eat your dinner.  What if I bring someone else with me?  I sense most of my friends are suddenly considering moving, without forwarding their address.  As for a god and immortality, I'm sorry, but you are going to have to answer that one for yourselves.  In the meantime, you'll just have to settle for me being a decent person who tries to do the right thing.

 

With that question put to the side for a blog of its own at some point, I'd now like to ask the uncomfortable question of why do people fear death, when it is something that everyone and everything will experience?  When my time comes, I fully intend on seeing my way through as much of it as I possibly can, before the lights are switched out.  I hope that there will be someone with me, whom care about and that it is not just a member of my medical team.  I'm pretty certain that my days will be ended in a hospital, probably Harefield Hospital - my second home.  Yes, really, Harefield does feel like that.  I once described myself as a homing pigeon when I was speaking to the psychologist last year; he commented that I wasn't the only one who felt like that.  It almost feels normal to be sat in that hospital bed, with an oxygen mask over my face; I've been there so many times in my life, that such events are a minor inconvenience that stop me being Eve for a few weeks at a time.

 

Actually, probably THE fear that I have surrounding my own death is the fact that I know I am chronically ill and I have a cat that depends on me for everything.  I absolutely know that I have friends who would take Harvey and look after him, but that doesn't stop me having completely irrational thoughts of me dying at home and being undetected for two weeks.  Forget me, what about my poor little meezer?  No, it doesn't bother me that I'd end up as cat food - I only hope the medication doesn't make him ill.  But this is, as I said, completely irrational.  I may be chronically ill, but I am not actually sick!

 

Probably my second biggest fear is actually being sick again.   I don't mean the sort of sick where I am griping on FB about yet another cold, or a sprained ankle, but the proper sick - the sort of sick that most people only experience in the later stages of life.  Oddly, I don't fear heart disease - we two are comfortable with each other.  I wouldn't quite go so far as to say that we are old friends, but I've been in heart failure before and I've arrested before.  It has happened.  It may well happen again, but I am confident.  I fear cancer.  I have friends and family who have defeated this disease, but I have also lost friends and family to it.  I fear cancer because I can't have chemo.  I fear cancer because I have had a fortnight's course of Radiotherapy at 1/8th of the dose of a cancer patient and it was nasty.  I fear cancer because my chances of survival are microscopic.  So, I know what I will do if I am ever diagnosed with it - no, I don't mean the small growth on my forehead that will be plucked out in a couple of months.  I mean a proper dose of this vile disease.

 

The same can be said for any other terminal issue, or anything that takes away my ability to think for myself - such as Alzheimer's.  I fear not being able to look after myself, or forgetting to take my medication.  I will end it my way, before the disease makes my life unbearable, or robs me of my ability to think.  I will do as Robin Williams did yesterday when it all became too much for him.  If I can afford to, I will take myself to Dignitas in Switzerland.  If I can't do that, I know I have enough medication in this house to make the dinosaurs extinct again, so it should be just enough for me too.  I actually think suicide can be the action of a brave person.  If it is successful, it is irreversible; there are no second chances.  To know your actions mean that you are never going to walk down the road, holding hands with your loved ones, takes bravery and a type of strength, that people may assume is missing in those with mental health issues.  They are wrong.  Suicide in a desperate situation is strength and I wish that people would not see it as a weakness.

 

If I am capable of doing so, when my number's are coming up, I've every intention of holding my own wake.  I want to be able to say goodbye to my loved ones.  You're going to have to be someone very special to be invited to that party.  And yes, it is a party.  It is a celebration.  Funerals, memorials, wakes are something to be celebrated.  I do mourn the people who have departed, but I also celebrate their lives.  I think of their achievements, the loved one's left behind, I smile at their naughty streaks and remember their kindness.  I may shed a tear remembering a friend's passing, but I also have a smile and a chuckle for each of them .  They are not gone, they are imbedded in my heart.

 

So, why should I not get to celebrate my own life, rather than leaving it to people who will be struggling, because they are sad?  Why do they get to have the party, when I don't? I already think there is a lot to celebrate.  I turn 40 next year.  How on earth did I get to 40?  I don't mean that in the usual sense of 'where's the time gone?', I mean how did I make it to 40 years with my health problems?  I think about all the things I have done in my time.  I know I've had to slow down a lot over the years, but I've still crammed more into this time than a lot of people would manage in two life times.  I want to join in with that celebration.  I want to pick the music, watch my friends dance, listen to their memories and then maybe I can go, knowing I am loved and cherished.  Now, I don't want you all to start wondering if something is wrong and if you get invited to a 40th next year, I don't want you to start thinking that that may be the farewell party.  This is just my point of view. 

 

In the meantime, stop worrying about death, or fearing it.  We all go through the process.  For the religious amongst you, you know you will be reunited with your loved ones.  For those that don't believe you know that through the law of energy conservation your energy is ever present.  Energy is verifiable and constant; it doesn't diminish, or increase.  It's just that after death you are no longer in one piece.  In either case, what is there to lose?

 

As an end note, when I die, I either want to end up at Harefield, so they can poke about inside, or I'd like to do a Jeremy Bentham (you'll have to ask Dr Google about that ;p).  But above all, I want to be remembered for doing it my way.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5DdTIKk48

 

 

 

 

 

Finding My Donor Family III

I have to admit that since I posted my original note, that I have stalled in my quest.  This has been largely due to commitments at university and if I am honest with myself, I suspect that nothing more will now happen until August, when I am no longer bound by timetables, or deadlines.  And then I have days like today, where the enormity of the situation overtakes everything else in my head and I have to just stop what I am doing and shed a few tears.

I cry because he missed out and because his entire family missed out in watching him do, learn, explore, grow, change, develop.  I often wonder about the lad who saved my life.  He'd be 36 now, if the facts that I have are correct.  Would he have married?  What would he have done?  Was he a good kid? Was he a little monkey?  What happened to his best friends at school?  I know mine rallied  when my life support was nearly switched off - in fact their actions saved my life; I came round, out of a coma when mum repeatedly played the tape of them singing, laughing and talking which they'd sent to the hospital.

I cry because I can never make it right for that boy.  If a kid hurt themselves in the playground, I used to give them a hug and just be there for them; I can't do that for him.  I know absolutely it was not my fault that he died, but there is such a thing as survivors guilt.  I am alive, because he is not.  I just want to scoop him up, give him a big cuddle and tell him it will be alright.

I cry because next year I turn 40.  How on earth did I get to 40?  HOW?  It beggars belief that I am probably going to celebrate this milestone.  I am stunned.  Most people seem to run away from admitting they are THAT old - I'm running towards it, with my arms open wide, ready to embrace the next decade.  The fading looks, the increased wrinkles are minor details that really don't matter.  

I  AM GOING TO MAKE IT TO FORTY! 

I cry because I wonder if I have done enough.  Has my life been justification enough for that hellishly expensive operation and that lad's passing?  Have enough of my days counted?  Have I tried to do the right thing?  Have I been honest enough? Kind enough? Thoughtful enough?  Achieved enough?  Truthful enough? If I ever meet my donor mum, will I meet her expectations?  I have two lives for which to account; have my actions been the right ones?  Should I be a better person?

I cry because of the chances I have had, that would have been denied me, had I died back in 1988.  It so nearly wasn't my turn, but a twist of fate, or a stroke of luck, a guardian angel, or the devil watching over me - however you choose to phrase it - has granted me some of the most amazing experiences a person could wish to have.  I have never managed to work out whether I was the luckiest bugger alive, or if I have had the worst hand of cards dealt.  I tend towards the former, but occasionally the latter wins over.  Either way, I know I won the lottery in 1988 and gained a prize worth more than the multimillions you can win on the Euros.  

Finding my Donor Family

The Background:

On Monday 6th June 1988, at 8.50pm I was sat in the kitchen at home, in Eastbourne.  I was at the table revising for my exams the following day; mum was upstairs watching TV, her feet were up after a long week working as a nurse at the local hospital.  The phone rang and when I answered a polite lady announced it was the hospital; she asked if she could speak to my mum.  A matching set of donor heart and lungs had been found.

Mum and I were transported to the hospital by a blue-light ambulance.  When we arrived there, it was soon apparent that the operation would go ahead this time and by 11.50pm I had said goodbye to my mum and was in the operating theatre.

Back in 1988, we were told little about our donor families and writing/contact was not encouraged.  I think it has now become common practice for the recipient to write initially and say thank you; if they get a reply back, then both parties can continue to correspond, should they both choose to do so.  

'Thank you' is probably the biggest understatement of the century.  You have no idea how 'thank you' really just does not cut it, until you have been there!  However, I have wanted to write that letter for years, but I never really knew how to go about it, especially as so much time has passed.  There aren't just the emotional issues, but also  practical things to consider; my donor family could have moved and the transplant co-ordinator may not be able to pass on the letter.  What if my letter caused upset, instead of bringing comfort? The last thing I want to do is cause more distress to a family who made the ultimate gift-giving decision, but I know I have to do it.  There is a mum and dad (maybe brothers or sisters) out there whose son is still here, 26 years later.  With this in mind, I am attempting to make my gratitude known - maybe social media can help to make this happen. Feel free to pass this on and repost it!

My Donor:

I don't have much information on which to go, but I do know he was a 10 year old from the Reading area.  I *think he passed away after he left school on the afternoon of Monday 6th June, 1988.  The exact date is guess work; I appreciate that the accident may have happened a week before and he spent time in hospital.  However, considering I got THE CALL just before 9pm, I can't imagine that it would have happened much after the end of the school day, because of roadside attendance of the ambulance and the process that has to happen before donation can be granted.  The chances are that happened before the early evening.

Does this sound like someone you used to know?  Did you live in Reading in 1988 and know a family that lost their son at the beginning of June? I am keen to trace my donor family - even if they don't want to write/meet, I'd love them to know how grateful I am and how great things have been, that the operation was a success and that we are still ok - both of us.

If any info is not right, but the date fits and you donated, then we may be in the right direction.  You'll have to forgive me, it was 26yrs ago and none of this is confirmed...other than the date!!!

A Red Herring?

From a TV donor drive/news interview a few days after my operation I also suspect the following: my donor mum was between 30-45 years of age and she had dark? brown? hair; from the camera angle, it looked short - a jaw length bob? a pixie cut?  The lady was interviewed about organ donation as her son had passed away a few days previously.  The camera angle was from the top of the chest up and you seemed slim, your face was at least.

Even if the description is not quite right, were you interviewed on TV about the need for organs?  Does this seem familiar?

To My Donor Mum,
If you are reading this, please know that your decision was the right one.  I have lived a good life, with many friends and family.  I am loved and I do love.

I am eternally grateful to you and your family; it was down to you that my mum and dad did not lose me.  It was because of your son that I have lived my life.  It is because of your son that I am looking forward to my 40th birthday, next year.  He has run with me for the last 26 years at a steady rate of 90bpm.  He has drawn in air for me, 16 times per minute, hour by hour, day by day.  Firemen, nurses and doctors save people all the time, he has saved me one beat at a time, one drawing in of a breath at a time, for the last 26 years.  It is an understatement that I call him a hero.

Together we have achieved much.  I've been to university, I've travelled, I learned to drive, I have fallen in and out of love.  I've had a career.  I bought a house. I have a cat!  None of this would have been possible without you, or without your lad.

I think of my donor family as my other family; you are never far from my thoughts and as the 6th of June comes round every year I try to mark the occasion in some way.

I have lots more to say to you, but a public posting is not the right place.  If you are 'my mum', or a member of the family then you can leave a comment.  No comments are published, unless I give permission, so all information is confidential.  If you don't want to be found, then this too is absolutely fine.  If you just want to know more about me, then you can read this blog.  Whatever the outcome, I hope that you know we are both ok and that I do my very best to look after your boy.  Together we are an excellent team.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart and with love xx

April Austerity - Fallout 3

I'm definitely watching my cash now.  It's not that I was really *that frivilous with the stuff in the first place, but I am now on the equivalent of the state pension, which is paid to me by the teacher pension lot and I have a huge mortgage which is not covered by this!

So, to try and make sure the pot does not sink too fast it's now Eve vs. Tosca: in May for example, Tosca has supplied me with £220.36 worth of goods - food, toiletries, washing powder, cat litter etc etc.  I gave them £122.15.  My best shop was around £73; I paid about £25 for it. Another good one was about £50, down to £28. Huzzah.

I do this with a combination of strategies:

1. My glitch trick - next date for a good change over to new ½ price goods is 03/06.  I try not to do this *too often, I don't want them banning me ;) And if there isn't enough of what I want, I don't do it, just because I can ;p
2. Vouchers and coupons I find in free magazines, and online
3. Using these coupons against deals in the shop - for example, I use Johnsons Baby Bath, because my skin is so delicate.  It's £2.76 in Tosca.  It's currently ½ price = £1.38.  I used my three email addresses and printed off three £1.00 voucher.  I bought three bottles for 38p each!
4. I always rummage through the reduced sections and find things to freeze - seeded bread?  I haven't a hope of eating a loaf in a week, but I'd rather pay 60p for a loaf at 6pm, than £1.40 for it at 3pm.  Pick your shopping times.  
5. I ring up and moan like billio, at the slightest thing.  Last night I realised the dark chocolate has whey powder in the ingredients list on the packs I was sent.  It's not on the ingredients list on their site.  I shall ring and create havoc.  They'll send a gift card.  It was £1.20 worth of choclate, shall I aim for £5.00?
6. Because I have a Tosca credit card, I do all my shopping with it.  I earn points for everything I buy - in their shop, for their petrol and on every other purchase.  I may as well get a few more pennies back in coupons from them, for this!
7. I womble vouchers.  I've only been doing this for a few months.  I must have picked up £15 worth of free money that way.
8. I know exactly what is in my stockpile, in Narnia (cupboard that goes on forever), so I have a list of things I am targeting for special offers and the Tosca glitch.  I don't need to buy any household cleaning, or personal care items for about two years and what I have bought has all been paid for at knock-down prices.
9. I don't pay full price, if I can help it.  I'm fast coming round to the idea that ½ price is the right price and every penny after is profit.
10. I don't buy anything I don't use
11. I don't use a coupon to buy something, if it is not something I would use - just because it's a bargain, does not make it a bargain if you don't want it.  There's no point me printing off three vouchers for bisuits, if I am not eating them...

Actually, if you want to know how well this is going for me, look at these figures:

Actual shopping costs Jan-May - £872.36

Amount I have paid to Tosca -  £529.30

If Tosca goes under, I'll change my name and address.

April Austerity - Fallout 2

I really don't like cheap meat.  It's not just the taste, it's everything about the stuff.  It's not just an issue with animal welfare either.  The whole farming and food industry seems completely arse-about-face.  I do think all animals deserve a first rate quality of life, but especially so if they are ending up on our dinner plates - kindness costs little.  

Yes, I am an omnivore; I come from an Aussie family.  When mum was growing up on a farm, the animals had space, they roamed and dispatching one for dinner wasn't anywhere as inhumane as the intensive farming, shove it in a van, drive it 10hrs down the road and kill it routine that we have these days.  Slaughter on site? Would that be feasible in the UK?  or at least with in a short distance of the animal's 'home', so it doesn't have to suffer that stress and indignity.  Hmmmm.

After the animal has been dispatched, have you considered how we consume the meat?  There is no surprise that we are putting on weight and heading for a disaster zone in the UK.  The protein portion seems to have swapped places with the veg on our plates.  We used to eat predominantly veg, with a meat side.  Now you're lucky if you can see the vegetables using a microscope.  A portion of meat is the size and thickness of the palm of your hand - most omnis eat 2-3x this suggested allocation.  On my shoddy April diet, my meat intake spilled over into many, many meals, because of *that soup.  Normally, I eat meat/fish twice a week - although that's going to be harder with the whole soya/lentil/bean/dairy issue...  

So, a quick recap: bad farming, and an huge increase in protein and a drop in vegetable consumption is where we are at the moment.  Then...If you wander into any supermarket, 85% of the food on sale on there is just not food.  Ok, Ok, you can shove it in your mouth, chew on it and it'll taste great and fill a hole.  Who doesn't like a big, fat, greasy pizza?  But what is it doing to your insides?    Are you eating that, and the chocolates, crisps and cheese covered toast everyday?  Everything seems to be processed, packaged up, sent to another company, reprocessed and repacked and turned into something so alien from its original shape, colour, taste and texture that the original plant, or animal wouldn't recognise itself.  Cheese Strings?  I'm sorry, but WTF??!!  Do I eat them, or do I tie my shoes up with them?  I try very hard not to buy things in packets.  The crisps, biscuits, cakes, prepared meals etc etc are all gone - those ginger nuts with unpronounceable additives put me off.

On top of that, I am fast coming around to the idea that there is absolutely not one right diet for everyone.  I have friends who are wheat intolerant, lactose intolerant, glucose intolerant, meat averse, animal product averse, and a whole gamut of other intolerance/allergies/dislikes.  I personally can not go near grapefruit or pomegranate (no, I can't just pick bits off - what about the juice?).  I also  can't eat undercooked meat, any shellfish, undercooked egg (mayo, hollandaise sauce etc), soya (I don't tend to worry if there is a scratch of it in the packet, but don't offer me it in any bulk version (tofu, tempeh, soy, soya, miso).  I'm not supposed to eat from buffets (how long has it been sat there?), or have cold food which I have not prepared - no salads at restaurants, or at friends' houses - it's ok, I do trust you all enough to wash a lettuce leaf...and seeing as my food life is confusing enough, I tend to ignore the 'no salad' rule, based on using my eyes, knowledge of the establishment and a good old fashioned sniff-test!  I'm not supposed to have any pro-biotic stuff either.  Oh and now I remember, mushrooms only occasionally as they (like the soy) can set off gout attacks. Ouch.

So where does this leave me?  Trying to balance my wallet against the thought that I really should only be supporting organic farm produce.  I'm vaguely toying with the idea of going vegan for a couple of months - I bet most of you didn't see that coming.  It may give my body a chance to resettle the blood sugar question (there is some evidence for that).  I'm also fairly certain that the veggie/vegan friends will be rooting for the animal welfare side of things.    But then again, I am pretty certain that my transplant team will have a fit, if I decided to do this permanently.  I can't eat soya and I have to keep my consumption of 'staple' vegan foods down: beans, peas and lentils all contain Phosphorous, which can quicken my kidney damage (I only have 35% function left).  I also then have a lot of expensive cat food in the freezer (salmon!) - Harvey will be delighted :p

I think that ultimately, I'd have to keep the butter (Transplants at Harefield are not usually given margarine) for baking.  I'll probably have to have either fish or meat twice a week and I can see myself being told to maintain eggs.  However it pans out, I'd like to reduce my 'footfall' in terms of my agricultural/animal impact.

Watch this space.

April Austerity - Fallout 1

So, it's been a few weeks since I have actually written anything, largely because essays have been cramping my style at uni and also because I needed a break from talking and thinking about food all day and every day, except that I haven't had a break at all.

Things are definitely playing on my mind regarding my health. My blood sugar level has always been a bit  up and down over the last 7-8 years, but my start point every day used to be 5, it rose to 11 and then back to 5 in the morning.  It's the change to higher figures I am worried about and it was going up in April - until the monitor decided it wasn't playing ball any more.

After much kerfuffle I finally managed to sort out my blood sugar monitor and all the failing/missing components needed for regular glucose monitoring and started out agreeing with Harefield that it was far to high: first thing in the morning my fasting bloods were running between 8 and 11.  Eeep.  They'd climb and fall each day to about 15-16 and then back down to about 8-11 the following morning.  Eeep - again.

So, yes, back on the food train of thought again...oooh trains...oooh steam trains...oooh Whitby...oooh Dracula (yes, I am easily distracted): Food to Goth in four steps.  And now you have some idea of how my mind works EVERY SINGLE MINUTE I AM AWAKE (and trying to sleep).

Potatoes have often caused me issues in the past, when I have been on high dosages of steroids, so I relegated them to treat status.  My blood sugar came down a bit.  Happier.

Then I decided to look at the various sugars I have been consuming, to see if one variety was more damning than another.  It's become clear, if I eat fruit, without something with it (nuts, oats, or after a slice of seeded wholegrain toast, etc) then my level rockets back up again.  Approach fruit with caution.  I have long said fruit juice was not a healthy option.  Yes, I like nothing more than a J20 Orange and Passionfruit drink, but I think the day where I hoof one back is probably well and truly over: they contain no fat (yes, you need fat), no fibre and a truck load of sugar.  I'll eat the orange, just not drink the juice.

And then the shocker...dairy.  I started monitoring my glucose level after my teas and coffee; every time I had a cuppa my glucose gained two points.  I've been dairy free for four days now and my morning level has been under 7 on each occasion; twice hitting about 5.  Coffee and tea without milk is an easy change for me to make and I can play about with the various non-dairy milks for cooking and for throwing over cereals each morning.  No. Not soya.  I have to avoid soya.  I'm going to put dairy back in my diet in a few days, just to see if I get the expected rise.  I need to be certain.

On the plus side; rather bizarrely, on the day I scarfed down a slab of cake, a four finger kitkat and a fizzy drink, my glucose levels were a bit high, but no where nearly as high as they had been on the fruit!  Oh well, you win some and you lose some.

April Austerity - Last Leg

I still had quite a few bits and pieces left yesterday, so they all went in the slow cooker: mince turkey, a pepper, a courgette, ¾ of a red onion, the tin of red kidney beans, the jar of Everyday Value pasta sauce and some vegetable stock and mixed herbs.  I made four portions and I think it  was about 90p a portion.  With the free pasta from the Orchard Programme and left over broccoli, this was a pretty tasty dish, with plenty left over!

I needed bread and found this in Tosca.  Several days later, it's still fine in the kitchen - absolutely fine!  It does make you wonder why one loaf lasts and lasts and then another one is green and gross within a couple of days.

Anyway, tomorrow I can come off the 'diet'.  Will I?  Well, yes and no.  I am certainly going to keep my shopping costs down, but I am looking forward to having some 'nicer' extras backin my  diet.  And then there is the small matter of the Food Bank shop.  I've saved approximately £60 this month and Tosca have oblidged by sending me a £10 voucher, for a £70 spend.  Ahhhh, they must have been missing me ;p

So you know what I am going to do...I'll put my shop in full price at £70, wait for it to drop half price, add £1 delivery and then deduct the £10 voucher.  £70 for £26.  I think that will make quite a nice donation :D

April Austerity - Testing Times

I assume you know that feeling when you try to do something and nothing goes right?  Well, after the concerns that I could be diabetic, I thought I ought to get my finger-pricker kit out again.  I last had to keep an eye on my blood sugar in 2007 when I was being drip fed a truck load of steroids.  I found my monitor.  The battery was flat.  I bought the batteries; the test strips were out of date.  I bought new test strips; the insert was missing.. AARRGGHHHH.

Well, finally today, I had all the working parts together and after eating less than healthily I thought I ought to see what was going on: 5.8. That's fine.  What's happened?  I have no idea.  For the last seven years my blood sugar has been ok in the morning and then climbed steadily throughout the day, to return to the morning. So why, ¾ the way through the day is it suddenly normal?  My suspicion is that my diet has changed slightly.

I'm eating more regularly, because you have too when resources have to be counted out.  I've definitely reduced the amount of fruit that I used to eat.  My starch intake has increased, as I am eating rice, bread, or pasta with most of my meals.  My junk food consumption has dropped; well, sort of...  I made scones twice and I've eaten flapjack...then there was the Easter Egg from Carla.  Yes, that lasted 3 days.  Ooops.  I'm eating less veg.   Then, about ten days ago, the potatoes ran out (I finished my supply, they didn't charge out of the front door).  I've always been a bit suspicious that potato was my arch enemy when it came to my blood sugar.  I'll have to run a bit of an experiment, after this one is over.  

T minus four days and counting.

What if the reduced fund diet is the thing that has sorted out my blood sugar?  Hmmm, Harefield said that I'd be unlikely to make any difference to my blood sugar, because of the medication that I take. I guess I shouldn't get too excited about one reading.  I bet the monitor is faulty...

April Austerity - Lifetime Lettuce

I saw an article on good 'ol Facebook about growing lettuce without the need for mucky things like soil, digging and seeds.  Basically you shove the base of the lettuce in some water, stick it on a window ledge, change the water daily and wait for the lettuce to grow.  In keeping with the month, I thought it may be a good way to save a little bit of cash; apparently you can expect to achieve 5-6 'lettuces' from one!  This is the first one at about three days.

This is about a week into the lettuce growing experiment.  The second one has just been 'planted' today.  If this actually works, I'll be buying one of those mini plastic greenhouses for the garden and regrowing lots of lettuce, spring onions and having a go at cabbages etc!

Owing to the truckload of lettuce and milk that Tosca sent me in error, I made scones - carrot, courgette, cheese and herb.  They are rather yummy, if I may say so myself and rather economical.  I know, I should post the recipes, but I am essay writing at the moment, so this is what you're getting for now!

Dinner and lunch underneath were a lot more exciting than some of the meals I've eaten this month; with a lot of  extras I haven't had to make a choice between lettuce and cucumber, or deciding whether I save the last inch of carrot for another meal.  I wish Tosca would muck up so spectacularly more often!

Houmous wraps with carrot, lettuce, cucumber, courgette and tomato!  Nice :D

April Austerity - Frugal Flapjack

250g - Oats

125g - Butter

125g - Honey

75g - Sugar

Bake in the oven at 210 degrees for 15-20 minutes.  That's a 50% reduction in sugar and how I've been making flapjack for quite a while!  Let's see how the study group deal with this tomorrow...

It works out at about £1.20 for the flapjack and I've cut it into 12 slices.

If you want to know what you are normally eating at mine, in my recipe I usually throw in 125g of sultanas (raisins/apricot etc), 125g mixed nuts (sometimes seeds) 200g of ground almonds.

April Austerity - Swindled Sarnie

Ok, so I ought to 'fess up.  I had lunch out with a few friends today and it's not coming out of the remaining cash - I also bought to half price crusty wholemeal/seeded rolls from Tosca to go with some of *that* soup!  I think I will be grating carrot/courgette into it, to make it a little more interesting!  But, yes, this is where £45 falls down - well it's not the only place where it falls down.  So far, from what I can see,  this sort of diet is unsustainable long term because:

1) The diet is very basic.  Yes, I am getting veg and a small amount of fruit, but unless you are prepared/able to go back and forth to Tosca at 6.30pm+ to pick up the reduced stock, then you are not going to be seeing your 5 a day consistently enough - let alone your now 7 a day.  I'm not convinced that I am eating everything I need as far as vitamins, protein etc.

2) Where is the social interaction that we all need?  I've spent £8.24 today.  This is not a huge amount of money, yet this is the only time I shall be eating out this month.  Realistically, if I was eating on £45 a month and suddenly had £8 spare, the extra would go into stock cupboard staples: tins of tomato, beans, pulses, rice etc,  That means the chance of seeing other people is greatly reduced.  I'm social, I like having mugs of tea with friends, the occasional pub lunch, or dinner out.  I don't spend excessively, but today I feel guilty for having spent less than a tenner, to see people I haven't seen for months!

3) If you are prepared to trek back and forth for reduced stock, don't count on having the pick of the shop;  I'm eating whatever has been knocked down in price.  I'm lucky, I know how to cook and make a meal out of nothing.  Not everyone is in this position.  You also have to be prepared to hover.  I have hovered in Tosca, waiting to see if the bloke fussing about in the veg section, with the price gun was going to move something useful into the bargain bin.  Yes, he did! Avocado!

4) I am becoming increasingly tired as the month progresses, because of all the health issues stack against me.  I am giving serious consideration to home delivery next week - buy what I need and then add in a few extras for after the month, to make it worth the delivery charge.  Again, if you are on £45 and can't get to the shops, then chucking £3 on delivery seems crazy; I'd be ordering once a fortnight, to every three, but that's then £6 something a month out of the food budget!  It doesn't even take into account the fact that fruit and veg may be a bit iffy by day ten, of factor in that you may run out.

5) I am fed up of bulk cook food: 14 portions of soup, ok, so I am tweaking each bowlful, but it is basically the same thing.  I made a pasta, spinach, red pepper and cheese dinner.  I ate it for a three further meals.  I've had the same rice and vegetable salad - all 6 batches of it and the coleslaw lasted four meals as well.  

BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED 

6) I'm 5ft tall - almost.  I still weigh about 46kg.  I'm at home 50% of the time.  I'm eating; I'm not hungry, but everything is being used up.  Heaven help you, if you had a physical job, were 6ft, or 10 stone.  

T Minus Two Weeks and Counting...

P.s. £6.54 + £5.09 (wombled voucher) = £11.63 - £1.40 = £10.23 

April Austerity - Chocolate Chomping Cheat

Ok, so Sunday 13th looms on the horizon and I am almost at the half way point of this little experiment, so I thought I'd try and sum up the progress so far and work out 'where I am' - yes, at home on the sofa, with a cup of tea and the cat.

You're probably wondering about the chocolate chomping.  Well, I haven't and that is an odd thing.  As far as I was concerned, chocolate was one of my five a day and this had been the case for most of my life.  When I was recovering from heart failure as an infant, the first thing anyone could get me to eat was a plain chocolate digestive.  At this point the medical team and my mum were less concerned about what I was eating, they were just relieved I was eating!  The dye was cast and plain chocolate has been my default setting ever since.  But on the 1st April it all changed; I haven't had any chocolate this month and the really odd thing is, I haven't missed it.  If you'd told me to give up chocolate for Lent, charity, a week, 24 hours, I'd probably have laughed at you and told you were to go and how to get there.  I have chocolate tucked away in Narnia (large cupboard under the stairs).  I have been into the cupboard, seen it and not touched it.  It's not bothered me.  What does that say about cravings for sweets/mind over matter/addiction/want vs need?

So, no, I haven't cheated on the chocolate front, but I am going to cheat the next time I go shopping.  It's back to the Wombles again.  On my way back to my car, outside Tosca in Egham I saw this on the ground --->

  

Considering I am down to just over £6 for the rest of the month, this may well save my bacon.  I drove home dreaming of knocked down apples and avocado.  So, is this 'cheating'? If I was genuinely this broke, I could still have picked up this receipt.  You'd be surprised how often people abandon these on the car park floor!  If I found a fiver, I'd pick it up; I'd be mad not to.  

Feeling like I've won the lottery tonight...

April Austerity - Shopping Shenanigans II

Three eggs needed eating by the 9th and I just hadn't managed to fit them into a meal, so I made a cake to take to uni, as I was meeting Roy and Mohamed for a collective study session - hopefully we'll either motivate, or shame each other into getting the essays done!  I think the tea and the cake probably helped in this session, but I am now out of butter.  I don't think they noticed I only put 50% of the sugar in the mix - it vanished!

This is a typical uni day lunch, although I am now down to one apple - I don't think I'll see much fruit this week; I may crack open the tinned peaches and have a few slices on my breakfast each morning.

Dinner last night: I took a flatbread, smeared tomato paste over it and loaded it up with courgette, onion, broccoli and a little bit of cheese.  I wasn't bad and it was certainly cheaper and better for me than fast food.

Ange popped over today.  We had chicken wrap with carrot, courgette, a tomato, cucumber and lettuce.  It was nice to have the variety, but realistically, it was only about 1 ½ portions of veg in total.  Potato wedges went nicely with the wrap.

This is the second time I have cooked for someone else, plus the cake above.   Realistically I shouldn't be doing this, if I only had £45 for the month, but I am a sociable person and sitting down with a nice plate of food and good company is a brilliant way of spending a day.  Someone on this budget would be missing out on this important (no, essential) social side of life.

I made it over to Tosca this evening just as there was s some decent stock in the cut-price veg section.  Avocado - 59p!  Spinach - 59p! Beans -  58p! Rocket  - 40p!  I also picked up three peppers for 99p.  The total spend was £4.09, that leaves £6.45 and I'll need milk in a few days.   If I can get away with not shopping until  next Sunday (milk aside)  I *may manage this.  I still have some Savoy and white cabbages left and ½ the broccoli.   I haven't even cracked open the tins of tomatoes, the freezer still has ALL THAT SOUP and I still have ¾ of the pie, some turkey mince and two chicken breasts left in stock.

Dinner!  Finally - peppers, avocado and spinach - this is definitely more my sort of meal!

April Austerity and Medical Malfunctions

Those of you who know me well enough, will also know well enough that I have a few dietary restrictions.  I think it's about to become a whole world more complicated.

Currently I avoid the following items:

• Grapefruit - this one is a case of 'come hell, or high water'
• Pomegranate 
• Shellfish
• Undercooked meat/fish - no rare steak etc
• Undercooked eggs - anything from boiled eggs to Hollandaise Sauce!
• Buffets - hot, or cold - bacterial growth
• Any 'natural remedies' such as St John's Wort, incase of interactions with my immune-suppressants

I am supposed to avoid the following, but the occasional brush with them would be ok, in terms of the transplant team:

• Cold food in restaurants and at a friend's house, or with family (so that means I am not supposed to eat salads etc outside of my own home - although I do trust my friends to wash a lettuce thoroughly...)
• Soy 

Consume very occasionally

• Deli meats
• Pies/Pastries
• Crisps, biscuits, cakes etc - The usual junk food

Harefield's dieticians generally recommend a lower fat, salt, sugar, calorie diet, tell you to eat your fruit and veg (1 fruit, 5-6 veg) and throughout the last 26 years I have managed to maintain my weight, for most of the time.  I had a 4yr weight problem, just after a major rejection, when I was 11 years out.  Since I got the weight off (11yrs ago), I've maintained myself consistently between 44-47.5kg.  My target weight is 45kg.  My eating regime is not 'that bad'; it's not perfect, I do like chocolate digestives, crisps and home baked goodies, but I do eat a lot of the good stuff.

Unfortunately, on Thursday I was told that the inevitable had probably happened; I've more or less ceased to produce insulin, my blood sugar was up high (non-fasting bloods) - I'm now awaiting an appointment to see a local Diabetic doctor.  Hmmm - in case that is not clear, I am waiting to see a doctor who specialises in Diabetes - not a doctor who has the condition ;)

As an aside, I have never understood why Diabetes is called a disease.  It's not something you catch, like Malaria - it's something you acquire; it's a condition.  In my case, the immune-suppressant drugs have mucked up my body's ability to produce its own Insulin.  A change in diet is not going to make this go away; I won't suddenly start making more of the stuff.  I can only eat to try and stop the blood sugar spiking quite so rapidly.  To complicate matters further, I have a raft of other major medical malfunctions that all come with their own food rules and regulations: some example include high blood pressure, arteriosclerosis (furry arteries), Osteoporosis and it also looks like I have Rheumatoid Arthritis - again waiting to see a doctor.

On the plus side, because this has been a long time coming, I have already started making adaptions to my cooking.  A few examples:

• I tend to use plain yogurt for sauces, instead of mayonnaise (or cream) - but I haven't been able to afford it this month.  
• I grate cheese and therefore need to use less of it
• In scone, or cake baking I've switched 50% of the flour over to ground almonds
• When I make flapjack, I halve the sugar content and add almond flour, mixed seeds and nuts and some fried fruit 

Years ago, being diabetic meant NO SUGAR!  Now it means following a diet, in which you eat predominantly from a set of foods that register as low on the Glycemic Index.  Sugar, in small quantities, is back on the diabetic table...but we should all be watching our sugar intake anyway!  Just in the same way that 20 years ago we were told to watch our salt intake.

The problem for me now in April, is that massive batch of soup that I made at the weekend.  High on the Glycemic Index are swedes, parsnips and potato.  Aside from the fact that I have been eating the stuff for three, or four, days straight and I am BORED OUT OF MY TINY LITTLE MIND, can I now 'afford' to eat the rest that is sat in my fridge, in terms of the probable Diabetes?  In terms of April,  I can't afford to chuck it out, or give it away!  If you were on £10 a week for food and suddenly had to change your diet, you'd have a problem.

The reality of the situation is that whilst I don't have the diagnoses and I am still 'healthy' (in terms of Diabetes), I can probably still eat the stuff. I have one bowl left for tonight and 8 servings in the freezer.  I'll just have to space them out - that should also help save my sanity...

In any case, I guess if I do decide I am not eating any more of the soup, there is always a willing volunteer to help me out.

April Austerity - Stockpiling Syndrome

This was dinner last night.  It was the first time I'd sat down actually hungry!  Because of my medication regime and my exhaustion levels, I tend to graze through the day - I'm not usually one for big meals - but the lack of nuts to nibble on is causing a bit of a problem. 

I had 80g of fresh broccoli; there's still another 4 portions left, so 50p was great!  I had 60g of Savoy cabbage; there's still ⅔ of the original item left and I had the last 50g of a carrot that had made its way grated into a wrap and 4 portions of coleslaw.  Potato wedges went nicely with the pie.

And well done Tosca!  Originally £3 and I paid £2 for this pie.  I didn't look too closely at the ingredients, but on taste alone this can't be faulted for 50p a portion!  That said, I think a normal sized adult may find the size a bit small...  If budgets are tight and you want a little bit of comfort food, then this is not bad.  Obviously, again, you have to cast aside any consideration for the chicken's quality of life before it wrapped itself in pastry, but flavour and texture were pretty good, and who doesn't like puff pastry?  It probably worked out at about 95p for the meal.

Last nights dinner actually happened after a quick trip to Tosca.  I spent £4.92 on this lot.  I didn't have the energy to go over to Aldee to pick up cheaper bits and bobs.  If I had to get by on £10 a week, I'd sturggle for the simple fact that I find supermarkets exhausting.  Normally, Tosca comes to me once a fortnight with a two week supply!

The swede, carrots, onion and parsnip was a deal for £1.  Adding up the items individually bought, it would have been nearly £1.50 - so keep an eye out for the packs with the largest produce as they are not sold by weight!!!  Eight apples? 94p instead of £1.60.  I wish I'd gone a bit later; the discounted produce may have been better!

 So... £10.54 for the month remains - heck!  I won't be going back to the shops until Sunday/Monday next week.

Which is why I spent most of today making stacks of soup.  I took two of the manky Aldee chicken breasts, the turkey bone, some of the soup mix (split peas, beans etc), ½ of the swede, the onion, some potato and the parsnip and made soup.  I also added a bit of the veg stock from the cupboard, a load of dried herbs and seasoning  I was going to put in one of my lovely new carrots, but I decided to keep them and instead spent 5 minutes removing frozen carrots from the veg mix!  It seemed sensible; I'd be getting some fresh veg, but bulk out the soup with stuff that's fairly lame, if eaten just cooked.  I had it for dinner; there's 8 portions in the freezer and about 6 in the fridge.  

Hopefully they'll make life a bit easier as I am becoming too tired to cook again.  I normally only cook 2-3 nights a week; I get too tired to prepare a hot meal every day, so this exercise is already making its mark, from that point of view.  If this was my reality, it would probably have quite serious consequences for my health, especially if I didn't have a car to go to buy goods.  On this budget the shopping is not delivered.

Tonights dinner: homemade, plenty of veg, all blitzed together and it was pretty good, if I may say so myself.  Nothing unpronounceable in this bowl and the chicken passes muster like this.

Au

April Austerity - Cheese and Chooks

I've said it so many times before, but not all chicken is created equally.  Aldee, you fall way short of the mark as far as frozen chicken is concerned.  In fact, I'd go so far as to say (and I can't believe I am saying this), that the Aldee frozen chicken (and not their cheapest) was several levels below the taste, texture, smell of Tosca's Everyday Value.  Wow.  

Putting aside all thoughts of battery farming, life quality of the animal in question and looking only at the situation people sometimes find themselves - having to chose the cheaper option - if this chicken is the standard of meat that I would have to eat, then I would turn vegetarian.  Yes, I'd rather go through the rigmarole of discussing this with my medical team and then trips to Harefield for regular blood tests to make sure my immune-suppressant level hadn't dropped.  Yes, the person on a restricted diet would drop yet another food-group off her eating list, rather than face the thought of such poor quality.

In case you are wondering what made it so bad, I can tell you it was dry, rubbery, lacking in flavour and didn't have a particularly nice aroma.  How they managed all of that, I don't know.  

Hmm, whilst we are on the subject of last night's dinner, Tosca's frozen everyday vegetables? 50% win and 50% lose.  The carrots were diced and vaguely carrotty, the broccoli florets were green - and that's the best thing I can say about them.  The peas were peas and fine, but the cauliflower actually held it's shape, was firm to the bite and actually tasted like cauliflower. 

The best thing about this dinner was the pesto, and the savoy cabbage!

Tonight's dinner should be more appetising, especially as I know what's in the vast majority of it.  I made courgette, cheese and herb scones; a couple of those will be accompanied by coleslaw made with cabbage, carrot, onion, courgette and Tosca's everyday mayonnaise.  We'll just ignore the Asorbic Acid for now ;)

April Austerity - Perfect Pizza

Well, I've survived three days of Panebello Pizza: two dinners and a lunch.  I have to confess that I caved last night and made a very basic Coleslaw, to try and mix things up a bit.  

I missed throwing a handful of seeds, or nuts over the salad; the tomato, pepper and avocado were also conspicuous by their absence.  I wasn't hungry after dinner, but I could have eaten a bit more - sure enough, ten minutes later my hand was reaching for the packet of Disodium Diphosphate (or Ginger Nuts) and two quickly disappeared.

So, if I am a little unsure about eating unpronouncable additives in biscuits, I thought I'd use this rant to see what was in that boxed pizza that I won.  I have to say, I NEVER buy frozen pizzas and I am not a fan of deep pan pizzas; the topping to bread ratio is simply not satisfying.  The topping on the Panebello wasn't bad, it tasted ok (damned by faint praise?) and I could see vegetable representation in the form of several large chunks of pepper.  Unfortunately, they sort of dwindled into nothing upon cooking; a real shame considering my liking for peppers.

You can follow the link underneath (or copy and paste), if you wish ;)  The first 'thing' is that the Dr Oetker site says the pizza contains four portions - my bad.  Well, actually at the time of picking this up, the Tosca website said the pizza should serve two.  Um.  Cut into four this would not feed a gnat, or a homunculus like myself.  Heaven help you if you happen to be a normal sided adult!  

In the crust there are some more of those sodium phosphates, so I'll ignore that for now.   Let's rummage a little further.  

1) Mono and Diglycerides are present.  That's a cunningly disguised E number - E471.  It's commonly used as a binder.  Funny thing is, when I make pizza bases, I don't reach for the bottle labeled  E471.  I wonder how I manage?   The pizza that I ate was a pepperoni one.  But veggies and vegans beware:  E471 is usually derived from vegetable oil, but it can come from animal fat and no, they don't have to say which...buyer beware!  If you want to avoid animal products, then your best bet is to avoid anything with this additive.

2) Ascorbic Acid was also present - E300, another one hiding under a title, so unsuspecting consumers may not be aware that the product contains E-numbers.  This one is generally used as an anti-oxidant food additive.  What they don't tell you, is that it can also be used as a reductant in photograph development and in the production of plastics. 

3) Amylase: E1100 - yes, this is a naturally occurring enzyme found in human saliva.  But, again, veggies beware; in food it can derive from the pancreas of a pig.  

You may wonder why I am bothered about potentially non veggie products in a meat dish - just check the 'cheese' options, in case they are in there.  If there is no meat, is it vegetarian/vegan?

I'm pretty certain I remember general 'flapping' about the presence of E-numbers and additives in food.  If I can make pizza bread with flour, yeast, salt and a dash of milk, then surely big companies can use simple ingredients too?

Do we *really know what we are eating, when we buy pre-made food?  

http://www.oetker.ca/ca-en/our-products/panebello/pepperoni/pepperoni.html

April Austerity - Food Forecast

What's on the Menu?

So this is what it boils down to; can someone live (not just scrape by) on £1.50 of food in a day?

Breakfast!

Porridge - made with the following:
40g oats (serving is 50g) 3p
25g sultanas  - 4p
100mls water                  
100mls milk - 4p
Total - 11p

Calories: 279
Fat:         4.4g
Sugar:     23.2g
Salt:        Trace




Based on this, I think I'll be increasing the oats to 50g and reducing the sultanas to 20g!


Lunch!

Mission Herb Wrap: - 6.25p
Tosca Everyday Mayo: -1p
Lettuce: - 4p
Cucumber: -5p
Carrot: -4p
apple: -31p
Total: -51p


Calories: 313
Fat: 8.7g
Sugar: 20.2g
Salt: 1.2g



I haven't worked out the calorie content etc. of the veggies as they would be negligible!  The wraps are now off deal and I haven't found any more coupons to replace them - clearly, I'm now hunting for vouchers for next month!

Dinner!

I had this last night and owing to not wanting to waste anything, it looks like tonight's dinner and tomorrow's lunch as well :S

Panebello Pizza - Free - I won it!
(whole costs £2.50 - ⅓ = 83p)
Lettuce: - 4p
Cucumber: - 5p
Carrot: -4p
Onion: -1p
Tosca Everyday Mayo: - 1p
Total: - 15p


Calories: 347
Fat: 13.7g
Sugar: 3.5g
Salt: 1.62g

This would have cost me 98p, had I had to buy the pizza.  Half a pizza is a portion; this was divided into three.  The cost would increase again. 

Teabags and Milk allowance - 15p

My Daily Food Spend 
- with the free pizza  - 77p 
- 'paying' for ⅓ pizza - £1.60
- 'paying' for serving of ½ a pizza  - £1.87

Daily Consumption:

Calories:  939
Fat:          26.8g
Sugar:     26.9g
Salt:        2.82g

I'll probably have a couple of those ginger nuts this evening, but which ever way you cut it, there is not enough food on the plate to sustain most adults, on the available £1.50.  I won't do this mathematical working out every day; it's taken too long and it's tedious to read, but I will once a week, on a random day work it all out. 

My weight was 46.4kg this morning.  Harefield likes me to be 45kg and they advocate a lowER calorie, lowER fat, lowER sugar, lowER salt diet.  This selection ticks that box, even if the sugar percentage is high.  I sense this weight coming off fairly quickly.  If it drops too low, then I may have to abandon the fruit/veg in favour of keeping my weight stable - just as the government FINALLY catches onto the idea that the English really, really don't eat enough of the healthy stuff!!

April Austerity - Tea Tasting!

Everyone, who has half an idea about what makes me tick, knows this: I drink tea, therefore I am.  Or something like that...

Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner ladies and gentlemen:  Aldee tea at £1.99 for 160 teabags is brilliant.  It is as strong as the £2.69 for 80 box that PG Tips produce, or the £4.76 box of 160.  At the time of typing this Tosca are also selling 240 PG Tips for a deal of £5.00 and 460 for £6.99.  Which ever way you look at this, the Aldee box is the cheapest!

As for the Ginger Nuts?  Well, actually, they're not bad either.  Your options at Tosca at the moment are the Everyday Value 300g pack for 25p; the 'normal' Tosca pack of 200g for 39p, or Mcvities packs of 250g for £1.09 (or 2 for £2).  On a budget?  My money is on the 25p pack.  It's the cheapest and it's the biggest!

But... I looked at the ingredients of all three varieties and they all contain Disodium Diphosphate - otherwise known as Disodium, Pyrosphate (sounding even less appealing).  Aside from being used as a raising agent, this little charmer can be used in the treatment of leather, to remove stains off the hides.  It's also used to remove the scurf and hair off of pig skin.  NOM!

I wish I hadn't had that second biscuit now...

April Austerity - Wimbledon Wombling

Ok, so I don't live in Wimbledon, but surely you remember the philosophy of those chaps?  They picked up rubbish other people left behind; this afternoon, I picked up a Tosca Price Promise.  There it was, all £1.42 of it.  It was left in the floor.  Someone's 'chucked away' very valuable money! It paid (almost) for 1.3kg of frozen veg and a huge courgette.  I contributed 12p.  I'm quite prepared to stoop to cheap tricks to come in under £45 - although Freeganism may be one step too far!

I've priced up the remaining odds and ends in the fridge - 3 apples, ½ a cucumber, ⅓ of a lettuce, 3 eggs, ⅓ jar pesto, and a large carrot.  I also grabbed milk (95p), 13g of mixed herbs (49p) and 4 garlic bulbs (59p).  So the total spend now stands at £29.54, leaving me with about £5 a week!  eep!!  That probably doesn't sound a lot, but if you scroll back over the last ten days, then you'll see a lot of stuff has already been squirrelled away.  

I said before I think I *could do this, but it has been nearly two weeks in planning - and it could still go wrong.  I can't imagine having to think like this ALL the time, just to survive.